He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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