Who wears a wallet chain?!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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