the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
