You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
