just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
