I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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