Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so let's talk penis.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So apparently I’m into choking now
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