That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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