Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
