Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
