I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
