Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize