im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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