i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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