I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
