Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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