Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
