I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
