That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
