Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
