We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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