You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
