So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize