I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
