Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
