nut hugger
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
