margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
