have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize