I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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