I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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