Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
