There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
