she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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