Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
