I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
