if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
