I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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