Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
