can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
