the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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