i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think i have two assholes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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