Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
