i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
