i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
