Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
