You made me cry and you don't even care
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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