Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drunk is a universal language darling
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