I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i think im in europe. pls send help
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