called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
