Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
