I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
is it fun? or sober?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
