I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
