oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
