I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
