Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
