The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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