White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
