She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
