Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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