A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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