On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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