He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
