your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
