It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
