Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
