Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When are your genitals available?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize