i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
