Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the liver wants what the liver wants
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
