So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
