Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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