Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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