Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
