Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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