i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
