whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
