Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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