doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
