Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
